California There I went

So my beautiful daugher is in her sophomore year at Humboldt State (don't even ask me how she decided to go to Hills and Stairs University in the middle of Pot country....as even people out here know it). She is so happy out there and has awesome friends. It was so great meeting them and knowing how much they care about her.

My daughter ROCKS by the way. She is who she is, and finally realizes the values in life.

My trip out there was so inspiring. Driving through the Redwood Forests (national parks, etc) while listening to Christian music was so awesome. I happened upon the music while driving the 101 from San Franciso and listening to music about GOD and what HE does for us while driving through this amazing beauty I was in tears.

Many of you who know me I am more "spirtual" than "religious", but my commitment to GOD and Jesus is 2nd to none. I was not brought up with religion because my parents could not "handle" bringing 4 children to church. I was not baptised until I was 25 when I baptised my daughter. It was such a humbling experience for me. I was very sick as a baby (most people would baptise their "sick" children but not my mom). I got baptised when I chose to baptise Miranda. It was just me, Miranda, Mom and Dad. There was a snow storm that day and I was not postponing it because my other family members could not make it. It was one of the most inspiring days of my life.

I do not attend church regularly since my daughter "grew up" and the reason is that it is so overpowering for me. I cry in church every time I am there. It does not matter what the sermon is. I feel so blessed to be in GOD's presence. I realize I am in GOD's presence all the time. I do not need to go to church to feel it. It is very embarrasing to be in church and crying the entire time from gratefulness. So AWKWARD. Christmas is the worst for me, as well as Easter. I think I don't deserve to be there, and that Jesus and GOD will not really forgive me of my sins as is granted to me every Sunday I attend.

I think I will attend this Sunday. I will be forgiven my sins whether I deserve it or not which is so liberating (even though I don't think I deserve it). I also feel out of place like people are looking at me like I should not be there....probably my own parnoia. I will be there on Sunday praying for my friends who are having difficulties, but also realizing that every issue is a lesson to be learned and to be taught to others.

Praise be to GOD.